MOMs Group Attempt #2

Tonight I went to my first mothers of multiples (MOMs) meeting (I found the right group this time!). It was good getting to know some other moms of twins as well as some other women expecting.

It was strange though because I really expected to feel like my pregnancy was normal after talking to them, and that just wasn’t the case. There were some positive differences, like everyone else was talking about terrible morning sickness which I haven’t experienced, but for the most part it just made me realize a little more that it’s not just having twins that is making my pregnancy a high risk.

There was a large turnout, but very few others in the room had identical twins. I know that is statistically the case, but seeing it seemed somehow different from reading the odds in a book. With fraternal twins you don’t run the risk of twin-twin transfusion, so most of the people I talked to had normal length pregnancies whereas I already know 36 weeks is the longest mine will go. Everyone else I talked to has continued going to their normal doctor, has stayed on the same ultrasound schedule as a singleton pregnancy, and had or will have their babies in the local hospital. While I really enjoy being able to see my babies every other week on the ultrasound, I couldn’t help but think it’s probably not a good thing that those measures were taken so early on. I feel good about the quality of care I’m getting by seeing a specialist, just a little scary knowing it was necessary for me but not for all those other people.

Before I left I was talking to a mother of identicals. Hers were in separate placentas, so her pregnancy was very similar to the fraternal moms. She did mention that there is another mom in the group who was pregnant with triplets that were sharing a placenta and developed twin-twin transfusion. They did the surgery to try to split them up and thought it was under control, but she ended up losing one baby in delivery. *sigh* I know the woman I was talking to was trying to let me know that there was someone I could talk to if we started to see the signs of it, but hearing about someone losing one of their babies wasn’t really what I wanted to hear in that moment. I’m very aware that it’s a possibility, but we’re trying really hard to stay positive.

I went home with mixed emotions – on one hand I met some women that I can see getting to be friends with, having play dates, etc. but on the other I was really saddened to realize that the person whose pregnancy mine most resembled was someone who lost her baby. I think it’s going to take me a bit to shake that off.